“Mother or Super Human”

“Maa” this one word is an encyclopaedia, a universe. Whatever I say is just too little. I just want to give a small tribute to my mother as my first article here on my blog.

Well –  all mothers are superhuman I feel, but in our case, it was a special one. We lost our father too soon in life and what we really had was 3 of us – mom, my little sister and myself. This was my small world. Now from this small world to me becoming a mother of 2 kids – is a long journey which I cannot really write here. So, what I am going to do is put down some very interesting lessons given by my mother, taught from my early childhood to adolescent. I am yet learning but these teachings were the foundation. Sounds stimulating is in it …!!

1.     Given the scenario we were in – we made ends meet. Every day was a new challenge for survival and we made it. Childhood was for namesake the maturity was 10 years older. Today when I look back, I really cherish those days because it made us gold, you get gold when the ore goes through a burning process and I guess life did the same to us too early. But I love those childhood days of mine – there were struggles but it was cheerful at the same time. It taught me to be happy with what little I have, solidarity and unity in the toughest phase of life, value of love and responsibility, compassion, understanding, kindness and sensitivity towards everyone. And lots of hard work without a doubt. The circumstances didn’t really make me bitter somehow, I got more and more positive in life as I grew up that everything happens for the best and for a reason and god is always on the side of good people and he never leaves you alone! I started believing miracles happen every day and there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. We do not know how to be strong until being strong is the only option! Time passed and with all the hard work that my mother did for her two beautiful daughters is remarkable in a city like Mumbai. It’s tough very tough, but like they say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Today I realise after bearing 2 kids and working how difficult it is to lose those extra pair of hands…! My mother is the bravest and most beautiful woman I have seen and I always tell her ‘’ you must live forever for all of us” she laughs and tells me ‘’ I don’t have to live long because when I see both my daughters today and my grandchildren – I know the job was well done”!!

2.     I can never ever repay what my mom has given me – she has given me life! the only thing I can do is follow her teachings in life, though at times I feel even when taught, I didn’t listen as a kid so I tripped and then learnt. But that’s the irony with us kids – we take our parents for granted, and then learn through all our mistakes/ experiences. It would be intelligent if we learnt from our parents first hand advises that would make our hearts bleed a lot less I guess 😊. Having said this – we are humans so we err!

3.     In life, we do not have to have a bucket full of principles and values, it’s just a handful that really helps and counts. Well this is my perception. Those handful are your foundation of who you are and these principles/ values should be rock solid. Would like to share a few of them with all of you. Well, these are all my feelings and thank you for being with me till here 😊 …!!

4.     Education is very important. Education is like the water you pour each day for strong trees to grow. Education was the first thing that was made so important to us. It was like air to breathe. We were taught to choose books over boys when we were in our teenage years. Books were our best friends. We were made to realize education and knowledge will stay with you forever and everybody respects an independent, self-reliant, capable, confident and wise person. And as girls standing on your own 2 feet is most important without being dependent on anyone. At times life, can be brutal and that’s when your financial independence makes you a winner. Mom cut cost at all levels to send us to the best schools and colleges and now I really appreciate and understand what dilemma she must have gone through, being the sole bread earner. All our achievements were appreciated be it standing first in class or winning championships. We got our first watch and our first yonix racket’s as incentives for the hard work. The push that a child needs was always there. We got the best books to read from childhood be it Swami Vivekananda, Enid Blyton or Steven Covey. My reading and writing interests came from here I guess!

5.     Make choices and then stand by it. We were taught to be responsible for what we say and do very early in life. “say only when you can do it else don’t say it”. A good human being is known from the words he speaks and promises he keeps. Do not fool others or make false promises. Do not lie for trivial things. These basic rules were engraved in us. Action speaks louder than words but words leads us to those actions eventually and words come from thoughts, so ultimately your words and actions will build your nature and character. Silence is golden when you cannot say anything good. Avoid speaking ill about anyone and specially people who have helped you in life. Speak with respect to your elders for what they have done for you – they have walked this earth more, their advises and blessings are corner stones for life.

6.     Good and true friends are very important. Have few friends but true friends. Be a giver and always try to love unconditionally. Always have a heart of gold and crystal clear mind with your true friends – no politics and no selfishness. Acceptance of each other is of prime importance and open mindedness should be pivotal in true and long lasting friendships. Trust me with this thumb rule – I have the best people for ages as my friends, it’s just pure, incredible!

7.     Never borrow money which you cannot repay. It’s amazing how we were raised without a single loan on our head. We had what we needed and never complained for more, nor there was a need to quit studies and work. It was smooth, hard work and struggles were there but no misery, no asking help from anybody. We were self-sufficient. This was god’s blessings and elder’s blessings I must say.

8.     Hard work and honesty is never out of fashion. Never take short cuts or the easy way out. Short cuts lose their charm very soon. The tough calls you take make you a strong person in the long run. Even if that means to stand alone. Do it like the river which seamlessly flows, not like a wave that collapses the next minute. And always remember lies spread faster than truth, so never fear what you hear about yourself, the hottest topic will be a lie mostly, people love to talk about most things when they don’t know a thing about the truth. And that’s why half-knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge. One should keep working hard honestly -whether studies or job, totally focused and hardwork will always be rewarded in the long run.

9.     Be confident in life because you are the best, but never stop learning or get complacent. It’s your downfall then. Everything that you do has to be whole hearted, half-hearted work will never bear fruit. Use your negatives to prosper… this I somehow loved when my mom told me, “use jealousy and stubbornness for getting more competitive and you will see how you grow rather than using it for getting the worst side of you”! I teach my kids the same thing. Its lovely😊! Always Stand up for the right thing even if you are alone. Your intentions are what matters most, if intentions are good don’t bother or explain much about yourself to anyone. Mark your own niche in this world, blindly following the crowd is useless.

10.   Well, this is for girl power 😉. Never be a woman who needs a man. Be a woman who inspires her man – to love her for what she is! Never compromise on your self-respect, never allow comparison. Because what you allow will continue – remember this. Be creative, follow your dreams, your passion. Love with all your heart and you will see how you receive 100 times more!!

The above is a very heartfelt synopsis of my growing up years and the homely “Gurukul” my little sister and me grew up in. I made it short and crisp for easy reading! Hope it was worthwhile being with me. I loved sharing this with all of you  😀 !

Smile always – Molly  🙂